OBEDIENCE: THE ONLY LOGICAL CHOICE

We all want our kids to obey.  We want it to be easy for them to obey.  Sometimes we can say certain things or do certain things to make obedience difficult for our children.  Make your home, your words, your actions, everything send a message to your children that the easiest and most advantageous action is obedience.  Make disobedience such a nasty affair, that your children give up on it.  I know that sometimes there is willful disobedience in our children.  The willful disobedience comes when your child has flat decided he is not going to obey.  You can do everything right and still elicit willful disobedience from your children.  You have to deal with that, it comes with the territory.  However, sometimes our children disobey because we haven't made it easy for them to obey.  Unwittingly, we can make obedience an uphill battle, instead of the choice that makes the most sense.  When I'm searching out information about a given topic, I like to find the information in a list format.  For example, "Ten Easy Steps to avoid eating Chocolate Pie" or "Five Things to say instead of ( you can fill in the blank ....)."   So here are two lists to make obedience easy for your kids.

DO THESE FIVE THINGS:

1. Expect obedience.  Simple, but if you can get this one down, follow the rest of my advice or not, chances are your kids will obey you.

2.  Be consistent!  The rules are the same and consequences always follow act of disobedience.

3. Watch what you say and how you say it.  Be clear in your instructions, so your children have no excuse to disobey.

4. Establish good habits in your children.


5. Praise your children when they obey.  A few carefully chosen words of commendation can go a long way when raising kids to respect you, and to fear God.

DON'T DO THESE FIVE THINGS :

1. Employ guilt or sarcasm in order to elicit obedience.  Guilt doesn't work because children are immune to it (maybe they give them a shot at the hospital or something) and sarcasm doesn't work because children don't understand it.

2. Set unreasonable expectations.  For example, if your child is only 3, don't say, "Go clean your room."  Instead, go with him in his room, and say, "Put all of your dirty clothes in this basket.  Pick up these papers and put them in this folder.  Put all of your legos in this bucket."  It's more work, but the room will get clean, by your child, not by you at a later date when you just can't take it anymore.

3.  Count.  Please don't count.  Instructions should be given with the expectation they will be obeyed.  Your child doesn't need a "consideration" period.  This is what your child hears when you count:
1 -  Your disobedience is acceptable to me.
2 -  I'm  irritated, but your disobedience is still acceptable to me.
2 and 1/2 - Now I'm very angry, but your disobedience is still acceptable to me.
3 - Now your disobedience is UNACCEPTABLE.

4.  Make excuses for your child's disobedience because someday, even to you, the excuses will wear thin.

5. Pontificate.  Don't give your children, especially young ones, long pontifications about the reasons behind your rules.  You are only inviting an argument. 

Now go give your kids a hug and resolve to make obedience their only logical choice!