LIONS AND TIGERS AND TODDLERS OH MY!

Now that my youngest child is in the midst of "toddlerdom", I am remembering how difficult sometimes raising a toddler can be.  Toddlers cannot understand a logical argument, they have loud voices and aren't afraid to use them, and there is so much they want to do, but cannot do for themselves.  While raising toddlers may be challenging, there are things we can do to make the task a little easier.  Here are a some hints to consider.   They work for me, when I remember to do them.  (Sometimes I don't.)

The Bible tells us in Job that man is "born to trouble as sparks fly upward."   If I could sew or embroider, I would certainly put my sewing skill and this verse together in some unique way.  Maybe I would make a bib or something.   Understand your children are at war with you from their birth.  They want to be in charge.  The Bible tells us that they come into the world speaking lies (Psalm 58:3).  The fact that your toddler seems to want to defy you at every turn is normal and more importantly, it's not personal.  Your toddler has not decided that you are a bad mom.  You could do everything perfectly and your child will still act defiant and disobey.  While on the surface this may seem like bad news, it really isn't.  It's good news.  While you may fail to train your child, you have not failed simply because your child wants to be the boss.  When it comes to your toddler's motivations, you are off the hook.  It is however very important that you not give into your toddler's "I'm the boss worldview".   Throughout the life of your child, you slowly must change his "worldview" through obedience training while at the same time praying that the Lord changes his heart through the grace of Jesus Christ.

Next, toddlers thrive on consistency.  Consistency is so very very important when raising our young ones.  Nothing can throw a toddler off course faster and feed upon his desire to rule over you than the inconsistent enforcement of the rules, inconsistent reactions when he breaks the rules, or an inconsistent routine.

INCONSISTENT ENFORCEMENT:

Don't confuse your child unnecessarily by letting bad behavior slide sometimes and then come down hard on that same behavior other times.  Along the same lines, let your no mean no and your yes mean yes.  I think that is in the Bible somewhere.  If you always mean no when you say no your toddler will be less likely to plunge into a temper tantrum when he is denied something he wants.

INCONSISTENT REACTIONS:

Don't frustrate your child unnecessarily by not teaching him there will ALWAYS be consequences for disobedience.  Also, don't let your toddler off easy by thinking, "Well he is only one, he doesn't really understand what I mean" or "He can't be expected to come to me when I call him because he is so young."  Your child is smart.  He does understand "Come here!".   He does understand "NO."  Your toddler will benefit greatly from being taught to obey his parents and later other adults in authority, and the way he learns is by receiving consequences every time he disobeys.  He will also be a much happier little person if doesn't get his way all of the time.  A friend of mine has written that training at home will also teach a child to act better in public.  The first time your child hits you, screams at you, or acts in another overtly defiant way at home, don't let the behavior slide.  There will be more times he will act defiantly; don't let any defiant behavior slide, and eventually your toddler will figure out it is just not worth his time to disobey.

INCONSISTENT ROUTINES:

Toddlers benefit greatly from a solid routine.  I understand things come up and schedules need to change from time to time.  However, the majority of your toddler's early years should be filled with activities that are done again and again, at the same time and in the same manner.  Naptime, bedtime, meal times should be fairly consistent.  So many times toddlers are allowed to be awake when they should be asleep.  Tired toddlers are even more susceptible to bad behavior.  A good routine also gives your child some stability and frees him from fears about the safety of his environment.  I give my 2 year old one package of fruit snacks every day when she wakes up from her nap.  She is required to give one of her fruit snacks to her 7 year old brother.  We do this every day.  She learns to share by giving up one of her fruit snacks, and she has something to look forward to after her nap.  It's a win-win.  Try to establish simple rituals like this, to see if you can make unpleasant activities more agreeable to your toddler.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of "LIONS AND TIGERS AND TODDLERS OH MY!"